Perhaps my problem is unique, I don
t know, but I really need advice. For most of you I am probably in your dream situation. I live in the country where I want to learn the language. However, my problem is I have a mental block to the language. I live here due to marriage. The marriage was in my home country so I did not marry thinking I would ever come to this country or need the language. But as life has many twists I have been here about 16 years and still dont know the language because I got very turned off by the language due to some bad experiences. Not knowing the language became my defense mechanism. I found if I could not understand then I could not be hurt and it was a useful defense for a period in my life, but now the hurtful people are out of my life and I would like to become a part of society and be able to communicate others but I find whenever I try to study I automatically block the language from entering and there is still fear of the ugly side of the language that prevents me from moving forward as well.
I listen to Steve
s videos on Youtube and really agree with everything he says about language learning especially finding things you like, but my problem is theres nothing that really interests me in the language. I want to learn for the benefit of my children and because I will be here probably the rest of my life I want to know it for practical reasons and there are some people who are really nice who I would like to communicate with, yet none of these reasons are strong enough to overcome my past experiences with the language.
So my question is does anyone know how to motivate oneself to learn when one deep down one does not have a strong desire to learn yet one needs to learn for life. I guess it is like the kid in high school who hates math and does not want to take math classes but he has to to graduate so he`s learning for necessity not pleasure. In my case, the language is not a fun hobby, it is really a chore and need. Maybe other immigrants can understand.
I`d really appreciate any input. Thank you.