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43 Huahua & Wolf - “Remaining Guys” and “Remaining Girls” »

Flower, I think, in the present such a society, there are two things to let young people is a headache: One thing that is the question of work, how to find a good job, especially in such an economic environment is very bad circumstances; The second thing may be more difficult for some, that is, how kind of looking for a lover, how to get married.

This is the case, especially now that this economic tide, you say the economy is also not very prosperity; you say recession, but also a stage of development is still up, there are many people within the scope of life, resulting in some very contradictory The phenomenon, for example, “left Male”, “left women.”

I think now the community, more and more bachelor, but also the unprecedented bar. Especially in China, previously been married (age) is relatively early. For instance, in two-year-old ah, or before the age of 25, or so has been about marriage and children. But now there are more and more people to more than 30 years of age have not yet married, or going to a three-year-old, but still not married, not even a girlfriend or boyfriend fixed. Generally, these people are referred to as “left Male”, “left women”, that is, the remaining man or a woman.

That fact, I think that left men and woman left to increase, in fact, with our independence is also slowly improving relations. As far as I know, a lot of left male, perhaps one of his great pressure of work, very busy, and then he thought he has no capital to get married, to take care of their families, because he think it is still not fully mature, independent . Woman left to increase it may be because women in this society is gradually began to … … she was becoming more and more apparent, there is a great improvement. On the one hand, the growing independence of women, their work, their wages … … what we call the “three high” crowd: height is high, income is high, high academic qualifications. Optional room that she and her circle of life will be very broad, (will be) great. This will generate a lot of problems, that she in the selection process, often pick their candidates to go slowly slowly age also big (was delayed down). Perhaps at the three-year-old has not yet chosen an ideal partner she thought that this time she became a woman has left. Similarly, the left is actually male, he was beginning to struggle, in the hard work, do not want to consider these issues, he believes he still can not afford to. To wait for three-year-old he really busy, to (such) a state, he has some capital, he should consider the issue when he became a man left. Because for him, either, he is also room for an optional smaller. So, in fact, this is a big contradiction.

I think that now, “left male”, “left women” has become a serious social problem, because many people are anxious, especially the more serious of these traditional values parents. They are worried about their children, because, after all, only so a child, or at most two, three, (and rare) After all, 80 people have begun after the slowly growing up. Of course, I think the main reason lies with its own bar. Many people may not want to get married is the bones. Because marriage in the end mean? I think this is a big problem. From an economic, from their way of life will all have a relatively large sacrifices, there will be a very big change. Many people may not used to such a change. There is another aspect, which is … … I think, objectively speaking, the moral standards of society today is not particularly traditional, because the divorce rate began to increase, but also increased rapidly. I have heard that the divorce rate in China and Singapore, the divorce rate tied for first in Asia. Do not know if this is not true, but at least, China’s divorce rate is steadily increased. So, I think, on the one hand, has always been reluctant to go to marriage; the other hand, heard, seen, are some examples of failed marriages. I think that more emphasis on psychology of these young people of our shadow, and even rejection of marriage and fear.

I have seen a series made in China, it stresses that the four women, are more than 30 years old, is a thirty-something less than a 35-year-old like this is the four women left their story. Then they talk about is the process of finding love, their marriage, this path towards a gradual process. The knowledge that they are all female, are also successful women, white-collar workers, has its own ideas, have their own lives, but also used its own kind of life style. That they will find a life style with them, just right to get along with people, rather than each other to change their deliberate, it would not want them to change their deliberate, to integrate into their daily lives. Well, actually, it will generate a lot of problems. Among these … … I see there is a small fragment of which is that there is a girl she was very, very want to get married, then she found a lot of boyfriends, is … … she would go to value the details. For example, her co-workers, it will become her object of finding love. However, the same company ah lot of problems can occur, for example, in your life (work), which will be met, two people will diverge ah, how kind of how. Work which will happen. At the same time, it seems once you become a left after the men or women left, especially after the girls became women left, there will be a large number of men will ask you, Where the first day of entertainment now? Who tryst and then go now? Or, you are yesterday’s gone a pub? Or, you recently what the new Yan Yu? And so on and so forth. Will let others think you go to the left aged woman had become a very flighty, very frivolous women. However, sometimes a matter of fact, left as a helpless woman. Similarly, the left is also a helpless man. It is this run-and transform human relations, in fact, your age will be time for a change will produce a very subtle kind of a strange chemical reaction, and then will let a lot of people around you you have a strange vision and strange attitude.

I think Flower though you have not yet left the woman age, but you left there thinking woman?

I should be prematurely senile type bar.

Returning to the subject. I think some of the older young men and women, they just do not want to get married themselves. Of course, many of them want to get married, but always felt I could not find a suitable marriage. Of course, there are some economic factors. For example, the price is very high, especially in China, following the tradition of thinking, feeling, if married, they should buy a house. Such an inherent way of thinking. Therefore, many people, there are a lot of people, due to problems the house had finally dissipated. Of course, I think, a similar economic factors, such as there are still relatively more. For example, I had once read an article, said that men from the bones do not want to get married, because, once married, you have to pay more every month, especially when newly married, we must expend all to pay for a house down payment or even the whole house. Then got married, you still pay for the cost of large families, in particular, waited with children, your life more miserable. Course, the women do not want to get married. And former … … the past, women in society is different, because the past societies, most of the women’s bar is mainly the role of housewife. But now women do not like because they have their own work, have their own pursuit, as well as their own independent income. Once married, all of these independent ownership of the family income, and must be handed household spending went inside. So that they themselves are rarely available for expenditure, the relative is also a lack of suitors flowers. I think that there are still some reason. That is, to some extent, the marriage is two people exploitation.

Well, there are such a view. I have a friend, he is also 28 years old, Daohai not become a young man left, but he told me that one thing, that is, he is now a matter of fact (possibly) around two or three should be good女性. That is better, there may be a very intimate kind of relationship, but also the relationship between the kind of nondescript. However, I have asked him, that is, why do not you choose one of a serious interaction, and then to the direction of marriage? He said, I still not in the mood to think about these issues, I would also like hard work, I also want to earn more money, I also want to play more of their potential, I do not want to be marriage, family, or of a tree has become my Terminator, cut off my entire forests. Then he also will say that he felt that he had not enough to pay since the age of one family responsibilities, or that he had not one can take up family responsibilities capital. So he would prefer just so some can get along with the opposite sex, but not the true whereabouts of marriage direction. He told me that he felt was a question of age. Perhaps he was in another three years, five years, he may have the idea of getting married, he would go to a serious talk about a love. Similarly, the fact of women, too, I had to see I have just said that the time series, which had said that one of the girls, talked about her boyfriend after the … … because she is very much like to buy a small toy, is to such small ornaments. She once bought five cups, each cup is only ten dollars. In fact, tell the truth, and she brought home the cup after only to them the good-looking, she is very much like the kind of easy way out of a good look at the kind of small ornaments, but (these), and there is no practical use. For the life of speaking, is a luxury or consumer goods. Of course, her boyfriend at that time will be very upset and said, how do you buy these things again ah, how do you live do not know, how to save money do not know it. But she will feel that my life is like this, I just love to buy these gadgets. This is for me, I’m happy like. That there is no way that she and her boyfriend integration, she believes that there are differences between them. That she was no way to continue contact with her boyfriend.

Want to state clearly what, if I was her boyfriend who, then, I would not do that. Of course, I think the word marriage, for now people, mean things may be quite different before. Because I want to, why is the past, people married so early? One major reason is that they feel that marriage, it is only natural, as if you do the same thing to any one for granted. What do you think it should look something like this and not too much to consider. But now this social Now, I think, the old world was overthrown, but the new world has not been formed. Now people think that marriage is not to a certain age should have children ah kind of ceremony. Now people may have a variety of expectations of marriage, but once they do not see this looking forward to the time, the natural result, may lack the grounds of marriage. On the other hand, although they do not believe that marriage should be a natural thing, but I think they subconsciously, or think that I still need to get married. So I think this is why these people are a source of annoyance bar.

I have a friendship between generations, we have a chat when I asked him … … because he and his wife, two people are already married to older men and leftover leftover woman age (before married) are three Well over 10 years of age, it should be considered in older teens. Then I asked him, I said, why so late to get married? Then he told me that, he said, I am not so late, get married, I was forced to marry. I asked him why? He said, one is at home inside request, you have old is not small, and wants to get married how kind of how. Then on the other hand, he told me that, he said, he and his wife, two people are not Beijing locals, but they finished college, after all stay in Beijing. He said, he said, we are two people living together, living with a house, then the rent saved by half, and then we share all the things that are “exempt” half the cost. He said that we live together, is simply the same as two people live together. So … … In this way, he came to explain his marriage. In fact, this is a very realistic idea, that is to say, maybe the two of them dating to the time to live separately, but they are married, then formed a small family, their costs and some expenses, ah, may be, relatively speaking, there will be lower. Should be so. But he told me that, he said, speaking for him, his marriage in the face of this issue, he would think that this is a no way that I have to make a decision on, but does not mean that I have ideal, and I want to get married, I must tell what is what people living with life, then to each other like how how. He did not the idea.

Yes ah, I think this is both a good not good news. It seems most of the left male and left female, in the final because of this reason that finally got married; of course, a good one is that they finally left men and women left to get married. Of course I think that all this all stems from the contradiction between people’s values, bar, for example, if I view marriage as a very, very important thing, then why do not you give up other things for sake of marriage on the one hand do? That or, if I feel that marriage is only a marriage, just a ceremony, I do not see it too - - in my life inside, then why did you go to do it anxiety?