I believe that the time has come for me to admit defeat in my endeavors to learn a second language. Yes, I realize that this is my one and only post. Yes, I realize that I have yet to use this site for anything substantial; but believe me, this post represents the end of a long road fraught with frustration, and I merely felt that I needed to vent and receive some advice before throwing in the towel for good.
A couple years ago I took a German class to fulfill graduation requirements for my schooling, and perhaps to learn a new way to communicate with my German roommate at college. The teacher was alright, the students were relatively nice (with a few notable exceptions), but I dreaded every moment I was in there. Every time the teacher called on me, I felt as though my heart was going to explode right out of my chest. Why, you may ask? Well, it wasn’t the vocabulary…I could memorize that if given enough time. No, the problem was the sentence structure.
I could have had the best vocabulary in the class and still remained entirely in the dark, for I can’t even begin to decipher the German sentence structure. It was so bad, that the videos we watched that were supposed to cover only the words used in class completely escaped my understanding every single time. I could recall individual words and phrases, but hearing those words pasted together into a proper German sentence only served to confound me. It didn’t matter how much studying I did or how much extra time I spent with the teacher, I could never decipher meaning from the words that were presented to me, nor could I present them in the correct order myself.
The very first lesson I encountered on this site only served to confirm this analysis. Tasked with translating the following sentence into English, I see only gibberish pop out the other end:
“Entschuldigung, konnen Sie mir bitte sagen, wo ich ein Restaurant finde?”
Literally translated: “Excuse me, could you me please say, where I a restaurant find?”
Though the general idea came across after extensive mulling over (he wants to know a local restaurant), my first reaction to such a statement was “This doesn’t mean anything! It’s just word soup!”
If it takes me 20 minutes or more, after the words are translated, to figure out what this guy is telling me then I have no hope for myself to be able to hold a real conversation.
I like to think of myself as being a relatively intelligent person (I do Calculus for pleasure), but in my attempts to learn German I have nervously laughed, yelled at voices criticizing me in my head, started throwing things, and even withheld food from myself in an attempt to provide motivation to persevere and actually learn something. However, because of my fruitless efforts to take even the most elementary step into the language, I can barely even look at German now without feeling mixed feelings of guilt and resentment.
I apologize for wasting your time with my ravings, but I just had to let someone know.
Thank you for your patience,
Michael Laughlin