My family does not support me in my studies..(I am 23 years old)

Hello everyone

My name is Carlos, I’m from Mexico and I am 23 years.

This is my history:

When I was 18 I decided to study biochemical engineering but when I finished the first semester I did not get good grades, and that was the reason why I decided to stop studying. Then, when I was 20, I started reading books on philosophy and I was interested in different topics such as existentialism, nihilism, atheism … and it liked me a lot, So, I decided to retake my studies, but this time to the career in Philosophy, but due to a chronic insomnia problem, unfortunately, I had to left school. I remember that my insomnia was unbearable, so I could not continue. Now I am 23 years and once again I’ve decided to study at the university, to the beautiful career in Modern Languages. I decided to study this career because I love languages and I love the differents cultures that exists. At the moment I have no problems with insomnia and I spent years studying English and French (though not a very high level) to be prepared to this moment. But there is a problem: My family tells me that due to my failed attempts in the past at my first 2 careers, they tell me that I am not prepared to the responsabilty to study a new career and they insist that is better to get a job instead of studying because they do not believe in me. This disappoints me a lot. I know that this forum is not a forum for personal growth but I think it would help me to know the opinions of other people in this great Lingq Community.

In 1 month i will enter to the university and I am confused

P.D: I love Lingq!!!


“But until then, I would tend to agree with your parents. I wouldn’t be paying tuition for you to be playing around, wondering what you’re really interested in, and failing to succeed in your courses–especially at 23. Are you kidding me?”

That opinión makes me feel sad, but you are right. What can I say?

It sounds like your family doesn’t have faith in your ability to follow through with the course because of your past issues. It sucks. I remember when I told people I was quitting smoking and half of them said LOL YEAH RIGHT YOU CAN’T QUIT, and the other half were encouraging. I actually quit on my first attempt. I found that proving some of those people wrong was part of my motivation to succeed in quitting. You could let it put you off and demotivate you, or you could turn it around and use it to push you into proving them wrong.

You are never to old to go back to school and do some kind of course and there are a lot of people who do some studies in their adulthood. In fact, the older and more mature you are the more likely you are to follow through with a course.

You have to make sure you are ready to do the course though, because if you fail again it will more than likely put YOU off ever trying again let alone anyone else. Don’t go back to school at all unless you are 100% ready and don’t kid yourself about it if you are not.

I can relate to insomnia issues, there are things you can do to help with that. I think it’s important to visit your doctor and discuss it with them to see if there is anything they can do to help it. I found taking only 5mg of an antidepressant (escitolopram) regulated my sleep pattern to perfection. If I don’t take it my sleep pattern goes out of whack. I have no idea how or why it works, or if it could work for you but it’s worth talking about it with your doctor. Melatonin apparently helps people (does nothing at all for me) Google melatonin and read up on it. Light therapy could maybe help. Even some small things like not exposing yourself to a lot of bright lights at night time can help. There is a program called FLUX which dims your computer screen light as the sun dims outside so you can start to feel sleepy at a normal time. I always use it.

Hope this is helpful and good luck.

¡Hola Carlos!
I am 30 and I had a normal education path: after school, I started attending the faculty for translators and interpreters in 2002. I got my BA in 2006 (one year later than scheduled due to a surgery) and my MA in March 2010 (later than scheduled, again, due to some problems with writing my thesis). I got my MA with honours (cum laude), however more than three years later I still don’t have a stable income source. I do have my own language-service firm, but the site is not visible enough (although we also paid for SEO) and nobody hardly ever contacts me.
My parents have supported me throughout my studies and are still supporting me, but in their heart they would prefer me having any job than keeping studying languages to fulfill my dream to learn all the European languages.
So, I can understand both you (because it’s not good to feel that your parents don’t support your dreams) and your parents (because it looks like you still haven’t found your way and they don’t want to spend, and maybe waste, more money).
Moreover, getting a diploma doesn’t give you any guarantee that you will find a job any longer. At least this is the situation in Europe, I don’t know if it’s any different in Mexico.
I’m a professional translator and a polyglot. I can speak and write 5-6 foreign languages fluently or quite well, beside having basic knowledge of several other languages (enough to translate texts from some of these languages into Italian). Since I graduated, I sent out dozens of cv’s but it didn’t help. Nowadays so many people know common languages like English and French that a career in Modern Languages is a guarantee of remaining unemployed. Firms are no longer looking for translators, but for bilingual engineers or other specialists.
So, I second kimojima’s advice: if you really want to study modern languages, find a job that allows you to pay for your studies until your parents regain confidence in you and decide to support you again.
If you want more information about a career in languages/translation, feel free to write me (in Spanish) or to add me on Skype.

It would be greit to be ‘‘a child’’ all life. Parents have different dreams too… and I think 20 years - it is a good age to start live and think how you can support your parents…find a job I agree with your dad.

  1. Treat this insomnia urgently, if you still have it.

  2. Decide what to do. With 23, you can´t roam; it is time to choose a direction and go for it.

  3. You need to regain their confidence, so you could get a job (4 hours a day max, so that it does not thwart your new plan). Help with the bills and show them diligence as regards your new plan.

Now my suggestion about a possible career: study hard to join the diplomatic service. If you love languages and Humanities, you would probably enjoy studying for it. Your parents will possibly support you for this ambitious goal (if you show them motivation and diligence). Then, you ask them to enter a university (don´t know about Mexico, but the career here requires a superior degree) that provides you with basic knowledge in Economics, history, etc (whatever is useful for the test there in Mexico). Meanwhile, you will probably need to be fluent in a number of languages to be approved in the test (here in Brazil, English, French and Spanish are required).