No I don’t do that. Of course I was joking. There is no answer. There is always a tug of war between the personal interests of spouses and the things they do together. No easy answers. My wife has her interests and I have mine and I make sure that I do not have my ears plugged when she wants to talk.
I also think that a little humour never hurts.
By the way Vi7, my wife and I have been stepping on each others’ self-esteem for 42 years.
Yes, days are too short 
Vi7: Oh about my wife being a tutor. Nah she wouldnt be interested =p but I did get her to write and record 2 stories ( which are in the library). We both dont have any extra time the last 6 months. Might change in the future but for now no time. While I work 12 hours, my wife is either looking for work or studying english using her own methodes. After that We usually spend our time together doing house chores or going out for a walk or shopping or something. Which is Awesome and I never regret doing things withher instead of studying lol. when i dont work i love spending my time with her. Outside of studying languages i have my own hobbies like photography/filming and art. My wife has her own hobbies aswell. Sooo we have a good amount of alone time to do out stuff… Its just hard to balance everything and I havent found a schedule that works for me… Were both well aware of each others goals. My wife doesnt nag me if i decide to study korean shes increasingly supportive and gives me lots of patience. But just not enough time in a day to make it worth wild. In the end if i can spend time with my wife Thats what I chose over studying. For the amount of freetime That i have these days after im done work.
Soo yeah She has no time for tutoring =p. Just wondering how busy married people juggle it all while being productive with language learning… Not something That i’ve figured out yet soo was interested to hear some replys on how people make it work.
I might be going out on a limb here, but I think married people , with the exception of a “date” now and again, generally spend time together as an after thought, and not a daily focus. How long have you been married?
Dooo…
Good question! We’ve been happily together for 6 years or so but married for over a year. When I say " spending time together" I dont mean like I wake up in the morning and then we decided together “OK lets spend time " together.” HAHA… Its a non conscious decision that just happens… We wake up , do our daily routin seperatly alll day until I’m done work by around 7pm Then we cook and do dishes together because its fun and we like talking to each other. We might watch something together ( korean or english) or go out for a walk because I’ve been working at the computer or we might just do more house chores. Point is by the time Were done everything its time to shower and sleep =p. Thats a typical day. We dont do that EVERYday. some days she might go out and meet her friends, other days i might go out and meet mine ( do our own seperate things). Thing is we just naturally want to spend time together at least a few hours after not talking to each other ALL day…
I mean I’m sure things will change after 10+ years , 20 years , 40 years… But for now thats the kind of daily schedule were on. =p.
I see. So you DO have other interests. So I guess among your interests, learning Korean doesn’t make the cut (of regular study). It’s not as much of a priority, which is fine, we can’t do everything. I have many other things I would like to do (guitar and piano, tennis, drawing, etc.), but learning Spanish was more important to me. There is never enough time to do everything we want to do.
Well I guess it is just a matter of saying, ok these are my goals and I am going to set aside an “x” time a day to achieve them. Something else has to give, work-time, wife-time, or whatever else.
If you plan on having kids, better to do it now. You will have less time with kids biting at your ankles all day.
aybee77 : Thanks for the reply… I forgot to say I appreciated the comment you added earlier about your situation. Yes I do have other hobbies… The weird thing is one of my hobbies is my job at the sametime HAH! I draw/paint all day sooo 12 hour work actually takes care of 1 of my hobbies and i feel very satisfied in that regards. My photo/filming hobby is also somewhat fulfilled by my day job as I have to go out and take reference pictures. So in a way I have time for all my hobbies except language learning. Learning korean is at the top of lists of things to do outside of work But time doesnt always permit it unfortunately which is why i say my study schedule is very sporadic. And it isnt a problem with my wife at all. Its more a problem with me… I just need to figure out a schedule that permits me to reach my goal a bit faster than now!
dooo : YEah no kidding about the kids ( no pun intended 0_o). We’ve no plans for kids at the moment. Maybe when when around 30 years old. Yep, I know if i want more time studying i need to cut something out but right now there isnt anything to cut out I’ve a full schedule of important things I need to do… If i was watching too much tv or wasting time doing meaningless things I would cut them out ( maybe i could cut out how much time i spend on these boards today =p )
Again I just find it interested to read about other peoples situations and where they find the time to study languages. Im crazy busy but I do find the odd time to enjoy some korean studying. I just wish days were longer =p
Keroro, I think your routine is better than mine, actually.
Vi7 . How so? I only actively study korean a few hours a week maybe. Is that more time than you spend on your studying? I hope not =p.
My daily routine works pretty well but everything BUT studying… I just havent been able to figure it out a routine that includes daily active studying. Hopefully it works out =p.
I think you have work that you enjoy and it’s creative. I think a lot of people would like to have a job like that.
I don’t know how many hours you mean. The way I “study” is kind of the way, dooo finds time for languages. For me, it’s not the amount of time, it’s the quality of time and that’s kind of how I think about family time as well.
I didn’t read all the posts, but in my opinion the best way would be to convince your wife/husband to learn a language. In this way, whithout any doubt there wouldn’t be any problem about listening with your headphones all the time because he/she would be doing the same.
This must be love…
You’re very fortunate with your job. I’m envious.
Good luck to you.
Aybee , Awwww no need to envy … Seriously. Theres alot of negatives when your work is your hobby Trust me =p. I love my job and im happy i get paid to do what i do but sometimes I wish it was just a hobby =p.
I envy alot of other people here who seemed to know what their doing when it comes to studying languages =p.
For most of much of my married life I have been involved in learning languages and my wife has not. There is always time, sometimes there is more and sometimes there is less. Listening and reading and vocabulary review have always been my learning methods, even before LingQ. Here are my real tips for success.
Do not spend your time listening and reading in a way that appears to your spouse to invade your time with her. That still leaves time for your own activities. There are spouses who read books, who enjoy different music, and different hobbies. Language learning should fit into that pattern.
Since I started with LingQ I have devoted more time to language learning. I find that with an mp3 player, I have more flexibility. I can listen anywhere, waiting in line at a store, exercizing or whatever. I find that I now volunteer for household chores, like the dishes and clean up, and garden work, more than before , because this is my learning time.
“For much of my married life” I meant to say.
People know what they’re doing when it comes to studying languages? (I was just joking about Basque, btw.) That’s a whole 'nuther topic and a good one.
That was a good answer, Steve.
Still, I think that if an octopus fights Steve, the octopus will win. ’Cos octopuses rule.
(Love the word manswer, by the way.)
Steve fighting an octopus? I think I saw that on YouTube once.
I have long hair and, when listening to Russian on my mp3 player, keep the volume down low enough that I can hear people when they talk to me. That way I get in 1 - 2 hours a day of listening, despite constantly being around other people who want me to listen to everything they say. Saying “yes dear” every 2 minutes works best with the under 10s.
My husband was bemused when I started learning Russian, seeing no practical purpose for it whatsoever. I kept telling him it’s not illegal,expensive or fattening so he should count his blessings, and after 4 years, he’s stopped grumbling about it.
Does this count as a wo-manswer?