I won’t tell you, you’ll have to find out for yourself.
Question: Is it okay that I say "I won’t tell you, you’ll have to find out 1) yourself 2) by yourself?
Thank you!!
Yes, both are OK.
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All three are acceptable but there are subtle differences in meaning and thus are more and less likely is different contexts.
“…for yourself” means that the process benefits “you” (that is, the other person). The speaker is distancing him/herself from the process of finding out the answer as it benefits the other person.
The focus is upon whom will benefit: the other person. The answer is for or benefits the other person. The speaker implies that since the answer benefits the other person, the latter is the one that should find the answer. Needless to say, the subtext of this statement is not very friendly. (The answer benefits YOU so YOU should go find the answer, even though I may already know the answer but I won’t tell you.)
“…by yourself” means that the other person will have to find the answer solely by means of his/her own efforts and without any help from the speaker or anyone else. It stresses the means by which the other person will have to find the answer: by yourself. The speaker is stressing that the other person will have to find the answer alone, without any help from the speaker or anyone else. Perhaps this is a teacher or parent telling a student or child to figure out on their own what the answer is. That is, the process of figuring out the answer is a valuable learning experience and that’s why the speaker won’t provide the answer. It is not that the teacher or parent doesn’t care, but rather he/she is encouraging the student or child to think/figure out things independently.
“…yourself” is the most neutral way of stating that the speaker will offer no help. It doesn’t say that the other person will have to find out the answer by his/herself. Instead, it only states that the other person has to figure out the answer, in whatever way he/she can. If the other person seeks help and gets it from others persons, the internet, a book, so be it.
A similar more neutral variant would be, “you, yourself will have to find out” which stresses that the other person will have to find the answer. How the person goes about this not discussed.
Keep in mind that normally, context would add considerable meaning to these statements. What is the relationship of the speaker to the other person? Does the speaker provide an explanation as to WHY he/she is not sharing the information that he/she has? This would soften his/her refusal to provide that information.
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