Cockney for english learners

How about having a bit of fun tonight?
Below is a short story in cockney rhyming i found on the net.

Well Charlie. I was at the nuclear sub, havin a few britany’s wiv me china,
he kindly offered me a salmon which I took. He was tellin me bout this old cold n
who tried to sell him a pimple, “how much”, asked me old china,
“a c0ck n”, said the old cold n. What did you say I asked.
“Go forth and multiply” he replied.
I took a butchers at the old pimple and took a ball of chalk down the frog and went pope.
I got in and sat for a while on the rory next to the jerimiah and butchersed the linen,
then up the apples to uncle ted and went fast bo.

ok let’s see…
nuclear sub = pub
Britney Spears = beers
china plate = mate
butcher’s hook == look
ball of chalk = walk
frog n toad = road
apples n pears = stairs
uncle Ted = bed

puzzled about the rest though…

Good job Helen. I wouldn’t know where to start, this makes no sense to me heh :slight_smile:

“salmon” and trout=snout (cigarette)
“cold n” damp=tramp
“pimple” and blotch=watch
“c0ck n” hen=£10
“pope” of rome=home
“rory” o moore=floor
“linen” draper=paper
“bo” peep=sleep/asleep

I never heard any of those ones!

IN common use, even outside of London, amongst folks with a television are:

telling porkies (pork pies = lies)
a load of old cobblers (cobblers’ awls = balls)
I’m feeling a bit pony (pony and trap…look it up on Pony and Trap is Restricted
We had a bit of a barney (Barney Rubble = trouble)
They half-inched me motor! Half inch = pinch, steal
Blimey, I’ve just blown a raspberry (raspberry tart…look it up at
Rhyming slang - Wikipedia)
his whistle’s looking a bit pony (whistle and flute = suit)
I’m totally brassic this week, (borassic lint = skint, having no money)
Is his barnet a syrup or what? (Barnet fair = hair, syrup of figs = wig)

Some of these may make you sound a bit old, some make you sound like you’ve been watching too many reruns of Minder (see Minder (TV series) - Wikipedia). And don’t call anyone a berk unless you are sure you know what it means!

yes that’s a bit naughty sometimes, esp berkshires end etc
honestly, the story found was translated there, but i checked it all

thanks for the hint, i will check Minder on ytube out
do they speak cockney or just mockney?

I don’t know how authentic the dialogue in Minder is or was in the eighties, but it’s such a cult classic that a whole generation have now grown up speaking “Minder cockney”!

In russian we sometimes call friday питница от слова пить
We have no no term like friday night

In russian we sometimes call friday питница от слова пить

Never heard before :))
My colleagues call it “тяпница”. Meaning is the same :wink:

I’m downloading some Minder… sounds interesting to me…