This is weird…
- dogging
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
"dogging, happy very happy,
dragging themselves through the sesso streets at dawn
looking for a nice spot.
(but that’s another story! for anothet thread)
- weird
Why is this thread weird? Is there someone who could tell me why?
Or weird is just “una parola alla moda”?
Prima “cesso streets” e poi “sesso streets”…
Ma sei impazzita Liccia, veramente! 
The denominator keeps increasing.
I recommend “Welcome to the Monkey House” by Kurt Vonnegut.
Beginning with this story:
Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog
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20
WARNING
For those who are bitten by dogs
For those who lie on the grass where dogs piss and defecate
For those who appreciate being licked by dogs
For those who love kissing dogs
For those who adore sleeping with dogs
The following things are what you can get from them:
Pasteurella multocida,
Staphylococcus aures,
Staphylococcus intermedius,
Streptococchi anaerobi,
Virus of rabies,
Capnocytophaga canimorsus,
Eikenella corrodens,
Salmonella,
Campylobacter jejuni,
Yersinia enterocolitica,
Cryptosporidium.
And
Leptospiria interrogans,
Brucella canis.
Haemophilus aphrophilus,
Guardia lamblia,
Microsporum canis,
Tricophytom mentagrophytes,
And
Ehrlichia chaffeensis,
Rickettsia rickettsi,
Francisella tularensis,
Yersinia pestis,
Toxocara canis,
Dirofilaria immitis,
Dipylidium caninum,
Ancylostoma caninum and braziliense,
Echinococcus granulosus,
Strongyloides stercoralis,
Sarcoptes scabini.*
*(From Pietro Scaolo, Contra canes, ed. Scipioni, 2003).
21 of 23
21
I was eating a salami roll on a bench in a little park near my school. It was sunny and sparrows twittered all around. A lovely young woman was strolling with a large dog. I opened a book and started reading.
"Some say that love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go round,
And some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a conforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love?"
I looked up from the book and I saw the young woman and her frightining dog standing under a tree about ten yards from me. The dog was sniffing the earth, then it stopped, squatted down and started defecating. The girl stood stock-still and looked at it. When the dog ended defecating, they moved slowly away.
“Miss, miss” I called “the shit! You should pick it up!”
“Are you a policeman or what?” said she.
Then she made a vulgar gesture with the middle finger of her right hand and went away.
I’m actually interested to see what happens when Liccia gets to 23 of 23…!
(Surely it’s not just going to stop dead in its tracks!? That would be such an anti-climax! This thread needs to go out with a loud bark, not a whimper! :-D)
My Dearest Darling Most Beloved Follower,
No! I am not a writer, nor was meant to be; Am a guy practising his English writing skill.
No loud barks! No bang!
Ciao
Carissimo Liccia! Naturalmente lo so che hai fatto tutto questo per praticare a scrivere in inglese e per migliorare il tuo livello. È chiaro. (E secondo me puoi scrivere anche abbastanza bene in inglese!)
Comunque devo dirti che il quello che hai scritto qui mi pare abbastanza strano! Si tratta sempre di merda di cane, ecc… Mi chiedo perch’è necessario fare cosi??
È un po’ pazzo, no? Se possiamo dire verità…
(And sorry about my Italian - it’s been a LONG time since I used it!)
Dear Prinz,
it’s not true that I always write about dog’s shit . Only three times in my stories I talk about it. That’s nothing if I compare them to my view of dogs shitting in the street. Every day I usually see at least seven dogs shitting on my route to work. It’s very exasperating. I may be crazy, as you kindly say, but I think people who stroll their dogs in order to let them defecate for years and years are as crazy as me.
Don’t get me wrong buddy - if I were the dog catcher general there would be a canine holocaust every night! 
(And any owners leaving fecal matter on my pavements would get it rammed right through their letterboxes…)
22 of 23
22
The Dying: A Scherzo
On Friday morning at seven o’clock I was having breakfast, when I saw a woman in silhouette standing behind my window. I was tempted to move the curtains aside and see what she was doing there, but I went on with my cup of tea. At seven-thirty while I was unlocking my bike, I realized what she was… , or I had better say, what her dog was having near my window: a piss. A piss on the wheel of my means of transport.
On Monday morning in seeing the same woman outline at the window, I stood up and run towards the front door like a furious dog, but then I stopped and said to myself, “Cool down, Nina, cool down! Have your breakfast”.
On Tuesday morning I moved the window curtain a little bit aside to get a view of this pissing dog’s owner. At five to seven, there she was, blond and beautiful and of gentle aspect. I was ravished by her! She gave a look inside the room and our eyes met – her gaze made me mad of love. Then, she smiled and went away.
I stopped having breakfast and dashed out in the street and started following her. I was mad, I know, a nice fellow should not behave like that, but I was in love. Yes, Carissimi, I was in love.
I discovered she lived in a detached house a few minutes’ walk from my flat.
On Wednesday morning I waited and waited at my breakfast table, but she did not appear at my window. She did not appear any more. I felt miserable, a lover without his love.
- What shall I do? What shall I do?
- You have no hope.
- Why so?
- She belongs to her dog.
- Do you think so?
- Yes, I do think so.
- No hope?
- Nope.
- Give me a chance. Let’s go and sing a serenade beneath her windows.
- You have drunk too much beer!
- Come on, let’s have a try.
Under her windows unlit
- Start playing the mandolin!
- Alright, alright, you drunk!
Deh vieni alla finestra, o mio tesoro,
deh vieni a consolar il pianto mio.
Se neghi a me di dar qualche ristoro,
davanti agli occhi tuoi morir vogl’io.
Tu c’hai la bocca dolce, più del miele,
tu che zucchero porti in mezzo al core!
Non esser, gioia mia, con me crudele! Lasciati almen veder, mio bell’amore!
(Come, come to the window, oh my treasure,
come, come to console my tears.
If you refuse to give me some relief,
I will die before your eyes!
You who have a mouth sweeter than honey,
you who have sugar in the middle of your… heart!
Do not be cruel with me, my joy!
At least let yourself be seen, my beautiful love!)
A window was lighted and my heart started throbbing. I thought I had conquered her heart… but a loud siren, from a vet ambulance stopping in front of her house, destroyed my dream.
The dog lover opened the door and sobbed to the men carrying a stretcher, “he is dying, he is dying!”.
- You see!
- I see!
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23
- Come on, my lovely dog, jump on the bed. Come on, sweetie, jump and kiss me good night!
- Bow wow, wow, wow.
- You like licking my cheeks and my ears, don’t you? You little naughty boy,
- Bow wow.
- My! you have beautiful eyes. I’m crazy about you.
- Bow.
- Wanna sleep with me? Sure you wanna…
- Sì, tesoro.