Need help from native English speakers

Hey Folks! I always wanted to share my little stories with the world but unfortunately, my English is not so awesome yet as I want it to be. So it would be tremendous if you could check my spelling and grammar. I’ll be very grateful to you!

You could find the text below.

Thank you so much!

For three days I was sitting at home because of the incessant rain. On the fourth day, my forced imprisonment finished me off and I decided to go to the nearest grocery store. Listening all day to the pulsating rumble of roofs, window sills and air conditioners, I seized the moment when the rain changed from a heavy downpour to a nasty drizzle to broke out finally of the stuffiness of my apartment. I took with me my large cane umbrella. There was a lot of water outside. Trench drains were filled to the brim, and the signs of tobacco shops and pharmacies reflected in the vast puddles. I chose a longer route so as not to walk along the highway. I walked along the desert street deep in thought, covered with a large umbrella dome, looking at my feet absently. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some strange stirring under my feet. At first I thought it was a fallen leaf that had fallen into a drain and was caught up in a whirlpool. The movement was repeated and it wasn’t a leaf - the movement was too quick and smooth at the same time. I squatted down on my haunches, peering intently into the trench drain. It was brightly lit with lemon light from the LED letters of the nearby store. In one place there was no grate and I could see the bottom of the ditch, strewn with leaves and cigarette butts. I stayed this way for a minute or two, realizing that I probably look very odd. I was determined to wait and just sat still, watching into the trench drain. The rain intensified and umbrella began to sound a little higher. After another minute, I saw her. I think the mind-numbing effect of my four-day imprisonment had affected me that day. At any other moment, I would hardly have stopped, let alone to sit and wait patiently. But on that rainy evening (not sure it was evening) I really needed something… some kind of a sign from heaven or even a miracle, whatever it sounds like. And for some reason, I thought that what I needed that day, was hiding there, in cold rainwater under the drainage grate. It was a goldfish. I had been seriously involved in fishkeeping when I was a child so I immediately recognized it. The goldfish had a small tangerine body with little reddish patches on the back and its fins resembled a veil. She slowly floated out from under a grate and stopped in the open area of the ditch. At that moment my heart began to pound wildly, I even felt its beating in my throat. I am not a superstitious kind of person, but then I believed in everything at once. If the fish told me with a pleasant female voice: “Hello, honey. What wish you want me to grant? ”I wouldn’t be more surprised. But the fish kept silence. The goldfish didn’t swim away grabbing rainwater with her mouth. I didn’t even doubt, I just knew that this fish was meant for me. I slowly got up so as not to frighten it away and ran into a store where I intended to buy some kind of container suitable for carrying mysterious creatures. Such a container turned out to be a plastic jar with a mango flavor candies. It was big transparent (except for the label) jar with a large screw cap. I didn’t even think about buying a regular plastic bag at that moment. When I ran back to a checkout counter, I came across a pet supplies department and stopped in indecision. A yellow box with a printed goldfish on the label happened to be on the bottom shelf in a single copy. Now I understand that the fact that there was fish food in a small grocery store is no less surprising in itself than the goldfish in a drain. All mango candies I poured into a trash. Running out of the store, I was afraid that the fish swam away. In that case, I couldn’t convince myself that she was there at all. But the goldfish was where I left her. She was waiting for me, slowly sweeping with her fins. I squatted down again, rolled up the raincoat sleeve and slowly began to immerse the mango candies jar into the water. My plan was to immerse the jar completely in the water at some distance from the fish and then with my other hand scare her toward the jar. The first part of the plan went very well, the jar took almost all the drainpipe space, leaving only small gaps in the corners - won’t slip through. It seemed to me that the fish started to get nervous and I quickly put my finger in the water just a few centimeters from her to frighten her away in the direction of the jar. But for some reason known only to her, the fish jerked in the direction of my finger and I instinctively pulled it out of the water. She froze for a moment, probably saying goodbye, and slipped under the grate on the other side. I never saw her again. It’s funny that I still keep this fish food box on the shelf among the books… as the only evidence of this story…


Is this story going to be published somewhere ?

I wouldn’t change a thing!

Only in my instagram, facebook etc

No way! Really? It can’t be true! :wink:

I would suggest a few small changes. Your English is at a very high level, many native speakers would make the same mistakes. I didn’t mark the missing commas, but I think you would benefit from working on comma placement. Excellent work. You might get more feedback if you post this on the Writing Exchange. I had marked the changes in red, but the copy/paste didn’t carry them over.

…rain changed from a heavy downpour to a nasty drizzle to break out finally from the stuffiness of my apartment. …the deserted street deep… …probably looked very odd… …sat still, looking into… … to sound a little louder… …wish do you want… …fish kept silent… … with mango-flavored candies… … It was a big transparent… …back to the checkout… … All the mango candies… …into the trash… …the fish had swum away… …where the fish wouldn’t slip through…

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Wow! It means a lot to me! Thank you so much! If someday in the future you’ll need any assistance with russian language or literature (who knows?) please let me know.

Thanks again and have a lovely day!