“Life is all memory,except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going.”
Are you aware of your personal time eaters ? Have you really examined where your time goes each day ?
Interesting quote and question as well.
I agree.
The past is only in our memory and the future is just imagination.
It’s a very interesting quotation.
Personally I find that time seems to lose much of its value in my memory: I can think of things that happened 20 years ago, and then I can think of things that happened 10 years ago - and there is no realistic sense of the gap in time between them. Moreover, if I think of two events which happened at roughly the same time, it is sometimes the case that one of them now seems more recent than the other in my mind.
I also find that periods of time can expand or contract in memory. For example, whenever I think of a particular summer when I was a student, it seems as if it went on forever! Yet there were other periods of my life lasting 5 years or more which seem quite short when I think about them now.
(I also remember that my late grandmother, who lived to be almost 100, used to talk about her childhood days saying that it seemed as if it were only yesterday - in a way I find that quite scary…)
The quote is very realistic, especially for Russians. We often do something very quickly, without thinking about the consequences. And then we spend much longer time to remember what we’ve done regretting and dreaming to do it differently. But time has gone away for ever!
That’s why we use in our language the Past tense of the verbs dominately much more than the Present tense.
The language expresses the psychology of the nation.
That’s interesting, Evgueny. I had always thought that, in languages such as Russian and Ancient Greek, a much greater emphasis is placed upon aspect rather than time? In other words, whether an action is viewed as being in a completed or incompleted state?
In practice, however, I suppose a completed action has to be in past time? (Unless it is something we intend to do - in which case it could be in the future, I guess…)
@ JayB
(I also remember that my late grandmother, who lived to be almost 100, used to talk about her childhood days saying that it seemed as if it were only yesterday - in a way I find that quite scary…)
Considering her age, I think, there is an another intriguing question here. If I had been a chance to speak to your late grandmother, I would have asked “What is the best age to be ?” Have you ever thought about this in any depth?
Ozne, I think you raise a very good question - one which is actually quite hard to answer.
I think many people would naturally tend to say that it is good to be a young adult, to have ones whole life ahead. Yet youth can also have its disadvantages such as lack of wealth, lack of experience, etc. There is also the wider historical context to be considered. (For example, in the United Kingdon, France or Germany, 1914 or 1939 would have been a very BAD time to be 18 years old - especially for a man!)
On the other hand, being older in years always has one rather obvious drawback: there is a saying which I have heard, “a young person may die - an old person must die”…!
So perhaps middle age is a happy place to be? (But here again, the wider context of a person’s circumstances is always very significant.)
It’s a very interesting question, but I don’t think it has any very simple answer…
ad ozne: (…) If I had been a chance to speak to your late grandmother, I would have asked “What is the best age to be ?” Have you ever thought about this in any depth? (…)
I know you asked JayB this question, but I’d like to try and answer it for myself as well.
As Jay already suggested it is not easy to find a simply answer. To me the best age would be the one where I feel most comfortable with the way my life goes. For example, I was not a very happy teenager (for various reasons). I would definitely not want to relive the years from 13 to 18. As a matter of fact, there are times when I still have to try and come to terms with some things that happened then. I guess we all have had similar experiences (to different extents).
However, I’m lucky enough to be able to say that when I was around 19 years of age things really seemed to change. I’ve had a wonderful life ever since (not that the years before that were like hell all the time but as I said I would not want to go back in time).
What I loved about being a child (not a teenager) was the care-free life I had. But this was not because the world was a better place to live than today (actually, I think in many ways it was not) but simply because I was able to live in my child-like world thanks to the love and care of my wonderful parents. It was their “cocoon” of love that allowed me to create my very own world of happiness.
I am also extremely thankful for the many years of friendship I share with a handful of people and I mean really “friendship” here and not just knowing someone and greeting each other when walking by each other in the street. I talk about deep relationships here. I have known my best friend for 26 years now. We live close by, we used to travel a lot when we were younger, I know her entire family (and vice versa) and we often share the joy and pain of life.
I love the age I’m at right now. And I love the fact that I can look back on many exciting and fulfilling years of my life while hoping to be able to add many more meaningful moments (I’m trying not to count in years).
I think it is what we all make of life that makes the moments we experience valuable.
I am learning this lesson the hard way right now again. Just about a couple of weeks ago my mother was diagnosed with an unfortunately very aggressive cancer at a progressive stage. The fear to lose her is immense, to watch her suffer causes me pain I can’t describe and yet there is this enormous feeling of love and gratitude between that invasive feeling of despair I try to fight. I don’t know how I would have dealt with all that as a kid. To be clear, there is NEVER a “good” time to lose a beloved one, no matter how old you are or how old the person is you fear to lose. Feelings like love escape that kind of measuring.
So, while we hope for the best and do whatever we can to help my mother, I think - as weird as this may sound - that knowing how many beautiful moments I have spent with her and how much love and warmth we feel right now amongst the pain and fear we are surrounded by, this is a good time for me to live. Any time that makes me feel close to the people I love and care about is a good time for me.
Apart from this maybe a bit philosophical approach, I’d say that I’m in the prime of my life now 
No more tedious teenage years, a great job, reasonably good health, a WONDERFUL family, fantastic friends and the financial independence and liberty to give back some of what I have been given also on a “material” level. Really, there isn’t much else I could ask for (except for hopefully many more years with my mom …).
Generally speaking, I try to focus on the present moment for it is the one that is all mine to explore and cherish. The past is gone (yet not without influence) and the future may not even be there for me to play any part in.
Carpe diem
Robert,
I am very sorry to hear that your mother is ill.
I wish her the very best (and all of your family too.)
ad Jay B: Thank you so much for your kind words. It feels good to know people care (even if we don’t know each other that well). And as I said, this is a good time for me to live because I can feel the love of the people I care about and I can give it back.
As for the rest, as long as I can get my hair not to turn grey overnight, I’ll be ok I guess
@Evgueny: That’s really interesting. As one of my good Russian friends says, “90% of Russian culture is nostalgia.” He says this tongue-in-cheek as a joke, but there’s often a hint of truth in humor.
@ lovelanguagesII
“What I loved about being a child (not a teenager) was the care-free life I had. But this was not because the world was a better place to live than today (actually, I think in many ways it was not) but simply because I was able to live in my child-like world thanks to the love and care of my wonderful parents. It was their “cocoon” of love that allowed me to create my very own world of happiness.”
“There’s no vocabulary for love within a family, love that’s lived in but not looked at, loves within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all other love finds speech. This love is silent.”
T. S. Eliot, The Elder Statesman
Robert, I’m so sorry . I wish there was more I could say that would actually make you feel beter.Each of us experience so many different struggles and situations, and we have no idea what the future would be like.
By asking question about what the best age to be is, I were just trying to find about awareness of our experiences on life.
@ JayB
Thank you for your kind words. Every period of the life span has its stresses, its pluses and minuses. While adolescents have to cope with developing an identity, feelings of insecurity or negative perceptions, older adults face less energy, decreasing physical skills, etc… To tell you the truth, I think there is no simple answer, and there is no certain age. We have to remember that chronological age is only the number of years that we have elapsed since birth. Many people often tend to think of age only in terms of chronological age. However, a full evaluation of age requires consideration of different dimensions of age .
You’re welcome
(I see that you have studied Psychology, so I guess you have a professional interest in this area?)
@Robert
I guess it is kind of strange to think in terms of knowing a person via an internet forum
Dennoch tut es mir wirklich leid, wenn ich solche furchtbare Neuigkeiten höre. (Ich wünsche nur, ich könnte bessere Worte finden…)
ad JayB (…) (Ich wünsche nur, ich könnte bessere Worte finden…)
Aufrichtige Worte sind die beste Wortwahl und ich bin mir sicher, du warst aufrichtig. So, thanks again. Yes, it is strange to think of you knowing me or the other way round via this forum. We haven’t even seen each other yet but we have had some really lively discussions and while I don’t always agree with you I very much enjoy your intelligence. You sometimes may come across as a bit harsh but you certainly have depth (in German I’d say “Du hast Tiefgang”) and that is something I really appreciate in a person.
ad ozne (…) “There’s no vocabulary for love within a family, love that’s lived in but not looked at, loves within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all other love finds speech. This love is silent.”
T. S. Eliot, The Elder Statesman (…)
Wow, so beautiful I’m almost afraid to spoil it with my own words.
(…) By asking question about what the best age to be is, I were just trying to find about awareness of our experiences on life. (…)
Your question is an intriguing one and one which has no simple answer (as Jay said). I am glad there are people out there who keep asking questions other than those related to the stock market etc.
Personal time eaters: impromptu naps (I hate falling asleep when I don’t intend to!), arguing politics on the internet, lingq forums (sometimes the last two go hand in hand)
@Ilovelanguages: I too am sorry to hear about your mother, but cancer is a strange beast and as long as she is still breathing there is hope for remission. My wife lost her mother a couple of years ago and it was a very difficult time for her, her biggest regret was that her mother would never get to meet her grandchildren.
“We often do something very quickly, without thinking about the consequences. And then we spend much longer time to remember what we’ve done regretting and dreaming to do it differently.”
I find for me the opposite to be true. I wish often that I could just act out of instinct without agonizing forever about every possible outcome.
It is a nice question? most of us don’t care about time. we want to do many things in our life, but how can we do it if we don’t really manage our time. Time Management is really important to make progress in our life.