How to Be German in 25 Easy Steps

Da hält uns jemand einen Spiegel vor:

Ich habe noch nicht alles gelesen, aber ich wollte Euch das nicht vorenthalten.


Quite amusing! But how accurate is it? :slight_smile:

As always there is some truth in it. Other points are made up. Read the comments to get an idea :slight_smile:

I stopped reading at #11 “Eat Sauerkraut”. Reading about the first 11 steps was enough to convince me that I´m not German. ^^

Ja, sicher!

Paul, kein wunder :slight_smile:
Kennedy hat es einmal gesagt:

  • Ich bin ein Berliner.
    Es sheint mir, dass du es auch sagen kannst :wink:
    Lies mal weiter :slight_smile:
    The average German has a complex relationship to its Hauptstadt. Berlin is the black sheep of the German family. Creative, unpunctual, prone to spontaneous displays of techno, unable to pay its taxes, over familiar with foreigners. To many Germans, Berlin is not really their capital, it’s more like a giant art project or social experiment that only turns up when hungover, and in need of a hand out. To them, the true capital is probably somewhere more like Frankfurt. You know where you are with Frankfurt.
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“Creative, unpunctual, prone to spontaneous displays of techno, unable to pay its taxes, over familiar with foreigners.”

That sounds much more accurate to me.^^

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According to the last sentence of #17 I have never even been alive…


I´m not a big fan of FKK (Free body culture) - I can only handle a relatively small amount of naked, wrinkly bodies around me…

Then again, swimming around naked feels pretty cool somehow, you should give it a try.^^

Natürlich ist Frankfurt die (zumindest heimliche) Hauptstadt von Deutschland, das war vor der Wiedervereinigung so, und jetzt sieht man am “Hauptstadt-Flughafen” Berlin, dass das immer noch gültig ist …

Alle Punkte stimmen mehr oder weniger — na ja: eher weniger. :wink:

As a latecomer to this thread (very unlike me to be unpunctual) I feel compelled to point out a glaring omission in the list:

“Watch ‘Dinner for One’ at least once on New Years Eve - if you are from North Germany you can also watch it in a Plattdeutsch version on one channel or the other throughout the day/evening”.

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Is that the one where the guy keeps tripping on the rug?


@SeineköniglicheHoheit: Erinnerst Du Dich an das Strammstehen bei den Trinksprüchen? Nur jemand, der jemals Hühneraugen hatte, kann das schmerzliche Gesicht verstehen . . .

Am so happy that the heel-clicking no longer features in the top 25 tips of how to be a German, it is so painful when you are prone to foot trouble - not that I’ve ever had to do much h-c, but I am a great empathiser!

LOL, I read it all but don’t take it all that seriously.

All this has reminded me of two masters of “Liebevolles Auf-die-Schippe-Nehmen wenn es um die anderen geht”:

George Mikes, a Hungarian refugee to Britain wrote “How to be an Alien” in 1947 and followed it up through the next decades with similar titles. Although dated in a way, it still rang a bell in the 60s. Don’t know whether it has stood the test of time, but think it may have. It was brilliantly observed.

And then there is Wladimir Kaminer with his “Liebesgrüße aus Deutschland” (2011) and the earlier “Russendisko” : both these should be on people’s reading list :slight_smile:

Solche Listen sind interessant, weil sie zeigen, wie wir von außen betrachtet auf andere wirken und was Außenstehenden an uns auffällt, was wir vielleicht für völlig normal halten. Dass das natürlich Verallgemeinerungen sind und teilweise persönliche Erfahrungen mit reinspielen ist völlig normal. In allem erkenne ich mich und meine Umgebung nicht wieder, in einigen Dingen schon. Ich mag zum Beispiel Berlin :slight_smile:

“Russendisko” steht bei mir auch auf dem Programm und komnt sicher dieses Jahr noch dran. Das gibt es bei uns in der Onleihe (eBook-Verleih).

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Of course it’s tongue-in-cheek, yet quite a bit resonates (my husband found it pretty hilarious over dinner last night :wink: When I first moved in, I was a bit taken aback by my husband’s preference for separate duvets. But now I’m a complete convert. Still haven’t gotten the hang of the hausschuh though - going barefoot is quite entrenched in Australian culture :slight_smile:

Vera, there is also ‘Ich bin kein Berliner’ by Kaminer. I haven’t read it but it’s on my reading list for this year, before our trip to Berlin!