ad Jay: (…) That’s all too true. If I didn’t believe, it’s well and truly possible that I would have killed myself already before the age of twenty.
I certainly don’t hate atheists - i.e. people. But I do hate Atheism with all of my heart - because it is something which would destroy me. (…)
I love my life and I am grateful for so many things, even more so for the people in my life (especially my family). There are times, however, when I do ask myself if it is really worth it. No matter whether you are happy, sad, rich, healthy, sick, powerful, weak, the oppressed or the oppressor, at one point of time it is all over - you are gone and if you did not manage to leave an impression on some people you met during your life, you’ll be gone for ever, erased from this earth and from the minds of people.
This can be a frightening thought if you think that there ought to be some “purpose” behind your existence, a “plan” or some sort of providence. Something that gives your life a meaning.
I guess that is why many people believe in a supreme being and reading your post, I have a feeling this is also why you believe in God. I may be wrong and I am certainly not judging you, but that’s the impression I got from what I read.
Even when I believed in God I still had to convince myself that he knows best what is good for me and thus I wouldn’t have to reflect upon the reasons why I was born etc. After all, it was all part of his divine master plan.
The thing is that as time went by I felt that this plan was full of flaws and probably just as much an illusion as the quest for the supposedly true meaning of life itself.
The crux of the matter, as I see it, is that we first proceed from the assumption that our life has to have a meaning and then we try to find reasons why this must be so.
Religious people may argue that our life has a meaning because, after all, we were created by a supreme being and he/she/it must know what this is all good for.
And if people run out of explanations, they resort to the “inexplicable ways” of their God. I’m not saying this to disparage anybody’s beliefs, this is simply the impression I have got from many discussions and it is something that is also very much based on my personal experience.
I have a family member who is terminally ill and while I enjoy every moment I can spend with her, I fear the time she will be gone. I don’t believe in God, but I’m actually grateful she does because it gives her great comfort. When she doubts, I try to encourage her to listen to her “heart” and not to what I might say or think. She knows I don’t believe in the “Holy Father”.
Whatever the reason for our existence may be, wherever we come from and wherever we may go to, there is one thing that helps me through times of despair and that is the love you feel for others. As hackneyed as this may sound, but look in the eyes of a person that is just happy to see you, feel the warmth of the hug of a child that has waited for you to come by and you’ll have every reason to be glad you are alive.
That’s also why I believe in the importance of living in the present.
There are so many good reasons to enjoy life. The best probably being that it is the only one we have. As I see it, there won’t be any “refills” and no “second rounds”. You’d better get it right the first time.
Not everybody is given the kind of choice we have in industrialized countries. Many human beings who are just as “worthy” of living a good life as we are, lead a miserable life for reasons beyond their control.
One more reason for me not to believe in any divine plan. And one more reason to believe in the importance of assuming responsibility for others.
Well, I’ll go to bed now before this completely turns into a sermon 